I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize