2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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