I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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