I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
