i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
