So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
