Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
