I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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