Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
