People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
