i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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