her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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