lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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