i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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