if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize