Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
