Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
