The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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