So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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