So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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