If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
