are you still at the devil's house?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The beer is more important than you right now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
