I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
