would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
