Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
