This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
