I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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