I think I won the penis lottery.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize