im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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