You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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