Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
