I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
