You really coming over, don't trick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
