if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
