i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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