I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
