I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
