drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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