If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
