she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
