We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I did not marry a roomba.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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