she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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