is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize