Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
