Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
