So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
