I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
