Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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