Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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