i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
