dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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