he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
