dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
