The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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