I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
