I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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