never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
