hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
