Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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