Your tits are I can't wait for
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
