White coat. Heels.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
