so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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