day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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