The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
