you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
