i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
