we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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